Articles
Time Forethought
Leadership
- Google's Leadership Rules
Posted by Claude on Friday 25th November 2011 at 13:52:00
- The King's Speech for Leaders
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 8th August 2011 at 18:23:53
- Increasing the Bench Strength of your Leadership Pipeline
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 20th June 2011 at 07:09:47
- Black Swans draw eyes onto the Leader
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 16th May 2011 at 21:06:51
- The Court of Conscience
Posted by Claude on Tuesday 5th April 2011 at 15:12:36
- No Margin No Good
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 2nd March 2011 at 11:36:24
- How will you Lead in 2011?
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 17th January 2011 at 10:57:48
- Water what You want to Grow
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 31st December 2010 at 12:27:25
- Start a Virtuous Cycle & Create a Winning Team
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 8th November 2010 at 10:13:21
- With people, slow is fast
Posted by Claude Warner on Sunday 19th September 2010 at 18:24:55
- Leading without Title
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 24th August 2010 at 15:32:02
- Waking the Sleepwalkers
Posted by Claude Warner on Thursday 15th July 2010 at 12:49:57
- The Goose and the Golden Egg
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 9th June 2010 at 22:20:07
- What is really Important?
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 14th May 2010 at 11:52:05
- When Important becomes Urgent
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 27th April 2010 at 10:42:20
- It Starts at the Top!
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 11th November 2009 at 14:30:10
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Tuesday 9th March 2010 at 14:40:11
Communication
- Listening is not Understanding
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 17th February 2010 at 21:10:49
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Monday 1st March 2010 at 13:13:59
- How to Connect with Customers and Clients
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 10th February 2010 at 11:25:06
- Communication - the lifeblood of a (business) community
Posted by Claude on Thursday 29th October 2009 at 14:51:18
Emotional Intelligence
- 1 + 1 = 3
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 20th October 2010 at 14:49:28
- All is not as it appears (to you)
Posted by Claude Warner on Saturday 3rd April 2010 at 10:11:52
- The Truth about Your Stress
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 22nd January 2010 at 16:19:46
- Overcoming the Limiting Power of Assumption
Posted by Claude on Monday 27th July 2009 at 16:33:48
Successful Living
- Being Aware of Being Aware
Posted by Claude on Tuesday 13th April 2010 at 13:50:47
- Don't just work yourself, work on yourself
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 9th March 2010 at 16:26:11
- Does the world know the real you?
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 5th January 2010 at 14:43:47
- Is the journey the end or the means?
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 27th November 2009 at 14:28:18
- My Vision and Mission
Posted by Claude on Friday 18th September 2009 at 11:45:09
- The 'Ensuement' of Happiness and Success
Posted by Claude on Friday 24th July 2009 at 17:39:22
Wisdom
- Since I accepted inevitability, I see possibility
Posted by Claude Warner on Thursday 25th February 2010 at 08:56:12
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Monday 1st March 2010 at 13:18:00
- A Man is never Powerless
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 25th January 2010 at 15:32:29
- Precepts of Wisdom
Posted by Claude on Monday 26th October 2009 at 14:31:33
All is not as it appears (to you)
Posted by Claude Warner on Saturday 3rd April 2010 at 10:11:52
You dash into the office, late again. Thabo and Stu are standing drinking coffee. They point at you and start laughing. This is how you read the situation:
I’m late – I’ve already had two warnings.
Stu and Thabo are drinking coffee – Well, they might be at work, but they aren’t working yet either.
They are pointing at me – obviously they are judging me for being am late.
They start laughing – they probably think I am such a loser.
I conclude that they have no moral authority for being late when they are loafing themselves. It’s easy for them to get to work. They both have cars whilst I must take 3 taxis.
This really annoys me. In fact I am going to go over there and give them a piece of my mind.
You have just run up what business theorist Chris Argyris calls “The Ladder of Inference” or, as it is more commonly known, you have “Jumped to a Conclusion”.
How did this happen:
You observed the data (Thabo and Chris standing drinking coffee, pointing and laughing).
You selected data – this is where you start to filter the data based on your own belief or experience. The data you selected is that they were standing drinking coffee and that they were pointing and laughing.
You added meaning – that their pointing and laughing was directed at you.
You make assumptions – that they are responding to you being late.
You draw conclusions – that they are judging you for being late.
You adopt beliefs about the world – they have no right to judge me, they are not presently working either. This really annoys me.
You take action based on your belief and feelings – you let them know what you think of them, that they have no right to judge you whilst they are standing loafing, especially because they have cars and can get to work easily.
By the time you’re finished there is a vibe in the air and Thabo and Stu both go their separate ways. From then on they are out to get you.
What really happened here? If you had calmly asked them what they were pointing and laughing at, they would have shown you the amusing “Happy Birthday” banner above the door.
When you accused them, they felt exposed because they should have been working. Attack is often seen as the best form of defense, so they gang up on you. (They also jumped to the conclusion that you were judging them for loafing. All they should have done was ask why you are so upset.)
This all happens in a split second, and unless you catch yourself, you have jumped to the wrong conclusion, and reacted emotionally.
The cost to relationships, harmony in the office, productivity, customer service etc., can be high for what was a preventable misunderstanding. How?
- Tell others what you saw, assumed and interpreted. Ask them if this is correct.
- Invite other to ask you questions until they understand your assumptions and conclusions.
- Ask others open and non-judgemental questions to find out what they are thinking.
Most importantly, if a situation arises where you start having an emotional reaction, stop and ask yourself about the data you have selected, about the filters/beliefs that you have applied, identify your assumptions and conclusions, and only then act.
All is not always as it appears (to you), so don’t jump to conclusions.
Claude Warner coaches successful leaders to improve their leadership performance through developing their emotional, relational, social and communication skills.
He can be contacted on +27 (0)83 227 5153, info@claudewarner.com or www.claudewarner.com
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